timing is everything. it always is. this was the right time for tess to go. the snow hadn't fallen at the cabin just yet. arnie was working on our property with his backhoe and other large machinery which made it easy to dig the hole and bury her. it also made it possible to put the biggest boulder ever over her gravesite so in the summer months the children can climb on it and we can go out and sun ourselves on it! my parents were already at the cabin for the week and that same day my mom had her sister, loretta, their aunt betty willis and her daughter marjoire coming up to do genealogy. since we were only up for thursday and back on friday i was grateful to have been there to be able to see my mom's family. the two days were full of stories and fun.
my cousin robert is the best craftsman. he is also a dog lover. i asked him on wednesday morning to build me a box for tess. i wanted it organic and simple. i knew he would come up with something wonderful but it was short notice and i just needed something--whatever he had time to do.
when we picked up the box from him he told me that it is modeled after a hope chest that my grandfather morgan w. harris handmade for my grandmother mary deschamps harris. my grandfather's chest sits in their room at the farm house. robert used it as a model to build the box for tess. it was so meaningful. robert could not have done something better than he did for me--he knew i would appreciate the history and meaning. he's good like that. it is why i called him in the first place. having him build it would have been meaning enough but for him to have its shape stem from the generation of our family who built their lives around livestock and animals---made it all the more meaningful.
i had a gold ring with an "L" engraved on it years ago when i was single. since i bought tessa when i was single and in grad school i decided to tie the ring around her neck. jack and morgan talked about her much of the way up to the cabin and drew pictures to put in the box with her. my mom even had prepared a note for her when i got to the cabin. so we all placed our items in with her and discussed with jack and morgan the concept of the spirit separating from the body and resurrection when Christ comes again. it was a vivid lesson and i think they got it. but they really wanted to see her before she went in the ground. she looked just the same--like she was sleeping.
they wanted to help me wrap her up in the blanket [one i had made for her when we were first married and living in vancouver] and they wanted to help me put the lid on. then they asked if they could decorate the top of it. i thought is was a great idea and we all got crayons and got busy. they each drew hearts and wanted to spell out her name and theirs. i know it was helpful to them. they have always had her around and i know they will miss her. my mom drew evergreen trees and the river that runs along the cabin. my dad and rod took her when we were done and the backhoe made finishing the job so fast and easy. i was sad but relieved. relieved that she went quickly. relieved that the timing was just right to have these things take place the way they did. as we set the boulder in place the sun was just setting. it was peaceful and right.
[follow up: jack has since had a few moments when i can tell he misses her. he spelled out her name in legos the other day and came to show me. he also wants a "tessa" story for bedtime nightly. though morgan showed he loved her when she was here, he has yet to show much longing for her now that she is absent. he says a few little reminders but to my surprise it has been mostly jack who has been the most outward at showing signs of thinking of her.]
